When all the prays got answered

Lately, I think God might been so kind to me. I pray a lot when big problem approached me months ago. I almost give myself to someone that who might think she’s the only matter of my world. She wouldn’t think of the world, I have been thinking to leave this box-girl and I know that I deserve one better.

The only matter is actually, this feeling is empty… no more like the first time and I don’t know why. I love my family a lot, I love my friends a lot, but somehow, the last relation didn’t blend with all of ’em. I don’t separate world, I just move into it and take a journey among it… whether it falls or flies up high.

I pray… when I might have been so out of track, almost forgot that I have mighty God… sorry God… I know you were trying to reminds me that I’m so off.

This is not about the relationship, but it is about a dungeon of my heart, when all the problems killing me inside and took leverage to destroy my world. My family has been faced by some matters too, that made this journey harder than ever.

I pray… a lot…

Then everything becomes so bright… everything becomes so seen out. I see lot of things and I know that I forgot many important things, like to share with the unlucky kids, I love kids. My bestfriend told me that I’ve been changed into something like a machine, for I’m not even a common human ;P. He told me that I forgot the dreams that I’ve said before this.

Then I change the direction, back to the track…
I pray… a lot…

Then she comes… she comes into my life… suddenly without supernatural…
She’s taking me down, I can’t help myself to stick around and smell her vanilla smell. Hey… what’s wrong with me? Is this too soon or even… too late? I can’t afford this… I can’t even controlled myself hanging at the moment. I know what I felt…

Whatever she is, a devil or even an angel in disguise, I know that this is making me better. I don’t know if she’s for real or a term, but surely I do, she is the answer of my prays… yes… she’s the one.

Forgive me, myself… I’ve forgot you for a year and I live in the lie, for making myself a hero. A relationship doesn’t need a hero, it only needs a feeling that can live together with all the minuses of self-person. It only needs a true smile… a true purpose and of course, a true love… 🙂

– a hoping man that hopes too hopefully much –


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